Forgive me. The devil’s temptations are stronger than I am. I am weak. Look who I’ve become. A loser. No family. No friends. A job I hate. A cheater. A liar. A sinner. I hate me. Crys deserves more. But I hate her for making me marry her. I knew I shouldn’t have, I know that, but she made it so damn hard. Why couldn’t she give me a reason? Anything! She’s so damn nice all the time. Nice little perfect angel- it’s bullshit! I hate her. I love her. She’s all that loves me back. Cynthia keeps me sane, that’s all she is to me- a release. She weathers the storm inside. I know it’s shameful and goes against your word and mine too, but I worry I’ll snap without it. Why did you make me this way? I know I’m not a faithful husband but I’m faithful to you. My actions are wrong, but my intentions are pure. Forgive my sins. Give me courage. Give me mercy. Give me strength.

Faithfully yours,